Man: Yes, but you sail in such a boring way, hence you will never win
Woman: Yah, whatever, your boat is not my Viagra, deal with it
Man: That was below the belt
Where: Vancouver, Canada
Who: Alpine Joe
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ...Blowing force 9, boat has just come in from crossing the English Channel, young guy jumps out onto the pontoon and says:
Young Man: This was the most spectacular farewell to the idea of me sailing ever again.
Where: Sovereign Harbour, Eastbourne, UK
Who: Astrolabe
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: I actually failed “Competent crew” course. I fell in 4 times, lost 2 fenders and dropped the outboard overboard.
Woman: Oh, that is so funny, you poor thing, it’s the instructor’s fault, totally.
Where: “Plough and Anchor”, Portsmouth, UK
Who: SailorBob
Current rating: : 4.6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...After the 3rd day at Whidbey Island Race Week, a man walking down the dock at night hears sounds emenating from an open hatch. He pauses and clearly hears an annoyed female voice exclaim:
“let go of my ears, I know what I’m doing.”
Where: Oak Harbor Marina, USA
Who: Seattle Sailor
Current rating: : 6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man #1: I keep missing these tennis players, every time one comes to Sussex, I am in between boats. Kurnikova came - I was buying a boat. Sharapova came, I just sold.
Man #2: Even if you had a boat, you reckon they’d come on board?
Man #1: Oh, for sure, why do you think they wouldn’t?
Man #2: Because you are a weird guy with a 26 feet Contessa. That ain’t exactly Sharapova material
Man #1: She can see past that, can’t she?
Man #2: Oh, for sure.
Where: Jamaica Inn, London
Who: Pete W.
Current rating: : 4.14 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: I’ll have these please
Woman at the till: Wow, three stanchions, you must have had fun!
Man: That’s not the official marina view, but I think I can use you as proof of their unreasonableness
Current rating: : 4.56 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man #1: Would you ever consider slapping some advertising on your sails?
Man #2: Only if it’s Durex. In big letters.
Where: Honfleur Sailing Club Bar, France
Who: Sailor
Current rating: : 5.4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Captain looking chap: Ha! Charts are for wimps. Goddamn unskilled mainland people.
Where: Ireland
Who: Wimp
Current rating: : 6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: What’s that noise?
Woman: That comes on at dusk, it’s an anti-bird device, it stops birds settling on the shrowds and shitting all over our deck.
Man: Does it work?
Woman: So far I only have a facial twitch from the piercing sound, but I am sure it will all pass and we will start to fully enjoy our bird-free lifestyle.
Where: Brest, France
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 5.25 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man #1: You know those compases, how they say one type is for sailing boats and the other for motor boats?
Man #2: Yah
Man #1: Well, what’s the difference, motor boat less accurate or something?
Man #2: No, you can’t drink the motor boat one, they add stuff to alcohol in them, to dampen the motion.
Man #1: That’s good to know
Where: Maine, USA
Who: WinterSucks
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...