Man #1: I am organising a regatta, will you come?
Man #2: Where is it?
Man #1: Dunno yet, but there will be yachts and women, you’ll love it
Man #2: I’ll bring my RYA training chart, might come in handy
Where: London
Who: Anon
Current rating: : 4.75 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Tactician: What was our course when we rounded the top mark?!
Mastman/compass guy: I dunno, I was jumping the hally!
Tactician: Come on, just take a fucking guess of what it was before we gybed!
Mastman/compass guy: We were sailing at 3.6.5 degrees.
Where: on boat
Who: m1
Current rating: : 3 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man #1: So, how did you manage to break your ribs?
Man #2: Phosphorescence
Man #1: Huh?
Man #2: I was looking out for it when I fell over
Where: Newhaven Boat Jumble, Newhaven, UK
Who: Highland500
Current rating: : 3.75 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Two seasick liveaboards at the stern, “feeding some fish”.
1st liveaboard: Well, it’s still better than work.
2nd liveaboard: Yes, but it’s Saturday, actually.
Where: Open sea, Cyclades, Greece
Who: SergeAx
Current rating: : 5.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... 1st drunk russian oarsman in dinghy: Leonid, would you please row faster? We are drifting to your side.
2nd drunk russian oarsman in dinghy: Sergey, it may be better for you to skip some.
Where: Night anchorage near Kalkan, Turkey
Who: SergeAx
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: Every time I go sailing, it’s like… it’s like… it’s like there is this 15 year old girl who is trying to get out and failing.
Woman: What?
Man: I meant “boy”, I meant “boy”.
Where: Sovereign Marina, Eastbourne
Who: SSSpike
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Man: I have simplified my view of the sailing world via stereotypes
Where: Brighton Marina, UK
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 3 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Customer: We have a problem, the boat is leaning over.
Charter office: Ermm… okay. How far?
Customer: About 45 degrees!
Charter office: Are the sails up?
Customer: No. We’re at anchor.
Charter office: Okay, here’s what you do. Wait six hours and when the tide comes in, move the boat off the reef. Then you can come back here, because we’d like to talk to you.
Where: Whitsundays, Australia, Overheard on a radio schedule one morning
Who: Nickj69
Current rating: : 4.63 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man #1: I always fly my curtesy flag. God sees everything and it’s the little things that count, you know
Man #2: And I bet it turns customs men into slushy puppies
Man #1: Hmmm, haven’t noticed that in particular, but I am more concerned about the bigger picture, you know, the grand scheme of things
Man #2: In that case you cannot underestimate the significance of anything. Clearly.
Where: Approaching Portugal
Who: Rob
Current rating: : 5.25 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: Yes, but you sail in such a boring way, hence you will never win
Woman: Yah, whatever, your boat is not my Viagra, deal with it
Man: That was below the belt
Where: Vancouver, Canada
Who: Alpine Joe
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...