Man: Yes, but you sail in such a boring way, hence you will never win
Woman: Yah, whatever, your boat is not my Viagra, deal with it
Man: That was below the belt
Where: Vancouver, Canada
Who: Alpine Joe
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ...Blowing force 9, boat has just come in from crossing the English Channel, young guy jumps out onto the pontoon and says:
Young Man: This was the most spectacular farewell to the idea of me sailing ever again.
Where: Sovereign Harbour, Eastbourne, UK
Who: Astrolabe
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...After the 3rd day at Whidbey Island Race Week, a man walking down the dock at night hears sounds emenating from an open hatch. He pauses and clearly hears an annoyed female voice exclaim:
“let go of my ears, I know what I’m doing.”
Where: Oak Harbor Marina, USA
Who: Seattle Sailor
Current rating: : 6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: I’ll have these please
Woman at the till: Wow, three stanchions, you must have had fun!
Man: That’s not the official marina view, but I think I can use you as proof of their unreasonableness
Current rating: : 4.56 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Captain looking chap: Ha! Charts are for wimps. Goddamn unskilled mainland people.
Where: Ireland
Who: Wimp
Current rating: : 6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: It’s all very well, but you are not making any ideology friends here. I mean, the language alone is alienating. What the hell is a haliard? You yell at me to pull it, you yell at me to let some sheets go. I am not impressed. Teaching should be complemented with sign language, in it’s basic form, pointing, for example, is the way forward. Call it ‘thingy’. Call it ‘that’. Complement it with direct action requests, i.e. ‘pull’ and ‘let go’. Then, people will reach out for you.
Skipper: Pull that, will you
Where: Wales, UK
Who: Crew
Current rating: : 5.75 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Bloke #1: Bold guys are useless sailors, you know
Bloke #2: Mate, probably 80% of sailors are bold, this is not exactly youngster land
Bloke #1: Exactly. Full set of hair, me, bloody brilliant
Where: Off Skomer, Wales, UK
Who: Me
Current rating: : 5.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Angry Man: If you absolutely have to get to the Isle of Wight, you use a chart. It is simple. You look up where you are, you lookup where the Isle of Wight is, and you go from there. You do not say, it is over there and end up in Portsmouth. It just should not happen.
Where: Haslar Marina, Portsmouth Harbour, Portsmouth
Who: Wish I was sailing
Current rating: : 3.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Sailbad the Sinner, coming on watch and expecting a course of 185 degrees: Why are we on a 270 degrees course?
Halfwitted boat owner: I’ve taken a course off the rose. We need 270 degrees for Ibiza
Sailbad the Sinner: The compass rose is printed on the chart. Do you think that wherever you are you need to take a 270 degree course to get to Ibiza?
Halfwitted boat owner, clearly stoned: Yes.
Sailbad the Sinner: Right. I’m taking over navigation for the rest of the trip. No arguments.
Who: Sailbad the Sinner
Where: In the Med, 100 miles south of Marseilles
Current rating: : 6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Stern looking man: Just imagine, spending your entire life sailing. Madness.
Where: Baleeira, Portugal
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 2 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...