On delivery to Ireland for Cork week (F5/6 gusting 8 ):

Skipper: What course are you doing Peter?
Owner: 020 degrees
Skipper: The course is 320 Peter!
Owner: I know, but this is more comfortable.
Skipper: @&*£:$

Who: Russ
Where: Ireland

Current rating: : 4.86 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Husband: Good morning, darling!!
Wife: Don’t bellow, you fool, I haven’t slept all night with all this din

Where: Aft cabin, Marina Porto Cervo, Italy
Who: Unfortunate crew

Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Next to a complete wreck of a brand new boat:

Charter Manager, rather miserably: Well, apart from this, did you enjoy your weekend?
Skipper, rather neurotically: It was not my fault!

Where: Cowes
Who: Racing gets you in the end

Current rating: : 4.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Novice Sailor: Do you know a good cure for sea sickness?
Seasoned Sailor: Stand under a tree.

Where: Mayo SC
Who: Magic

Current rating: : 5.78 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Two yachtsmen alone in the middle of the ocean:
Man #1: What would you prefer now – wine or a woman?
Man #2: It depends on the year of production.

Where: Marina
Who: Rossy

Current rating: : 5.4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Tactician: What was our course when we rounded the top mark?!
Mastman/compass guy: I dunno, I was jumping the hally!
Tactician: Come on, just take a fucking guess of what it was before we gybed!
Mastman/compass guy: We were sailing at 3.6.5 degrees.

Where: on boat
Who: m1

Current rating: : 3.33 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Two seasick liveaboards at the stern, “feeding some fish”.

1st liveaboard: Well, it’s still better than work.
2nd liveaboard: Yes, but it’s Saturday, actually.

Where: Open sea, Cyclades, Greece
Who: SergeAx

Current rating: : 5.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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1st drunk russian oarsman in dinghy: Leonid, would you please row faster? We are drifting to your side.
2nd drunk russian oarsman in dinghy: Sergey, it may be better for you to skip some.

Where: Night anchorage near Kalkan, Turkey
Who: SergeAx

Current rating: : 5.1 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man: I have simplified my view of the sailing world via stereotypes

Where: Brighton Marina, UK
Who: Anonymous

Current rating: : 3 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Customer: We have a problem, the boat is leaning over.
Charter office: Ermm… okay. How far?
Customer: About 45 degrees!
Charter office: Are the sails up?
Customer: No. We’re at anchor.
Charter office: Okay, here’s what you do. Wait six hours and when the tide comes in, move the boat off the reef. Then you can come back here, because we’d like to talk to you.

Where: Whitsundays, Australia, Overheard on a radio schedule one morning
Who: Nickj69

Current rating: : 4.78 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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