It’s a funnly old world on the high seas! Share yours, what have you heard?

Overheard Sailing…

All we hear is radio Ga Ga, radio Goo Goo… Ah, what’s the use…

September 3rd, 2007 by Captain

Thursday, 24 May 2007, approx. 1915hrs.

VHF Channel 16: “This is Cape Town, Port Elizabeth and Durban Radio. There will be no Weather Forecast at 7.15 this evening due to staff unavailability”.

Stunned silence from the airwaves for a moment, followed by a call from some vessel to ask what that was all about.

VHF Channel 16: ” I am the only person on duty and I don’t have time to read a Weather Forecast with all my other work”.

Click. Silence for the rest of the night. That’s Africa for you!

Who: Multihullsailor
Where: VHF / Sailing for Southern Africa mag

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 5.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

It’s got beef, it’s got jam, what’s not to like?!? (c) Joey

July 1st, 2007 by Captain

Man #1: I am organising a regatta, will you come?
Man #2: Where is it?
Man #1: Dunno yet, but there will be yachts and women, you’ll love it
Man #2: I’ll bring my RYA training chart, might come in handy

Where: London
Who: Anon

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 4.75 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

You wait till he goes rock climbing…

April 27th, 2007 by Captain

Man: Every time I go sailing, it’s like… it’s like… it’s like there is this 15 year old girl who is trying to get out and failing.
Woman: What?
Man: I meant “boy”, I meant “boy”.

Where: Sovereign Marina, Eastbourne
Who: SSSpike

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...
Filed under Sailing is..., WTF?, Crew having No Comments »

Like he said, it’s the little things that count, you know.

March 2nd, 2007 by Captain

Man #1: I always fly my curtesy flag. God sees everything and it’s the little things that count, you know
Man #2: And I bet it turns customs men into slushy puppies
Man #1: Hmmm, haven’t noticed that in particular, but I am more concerned about the bigger picture, you know, the grand scheme of things
Man #2: In that case you cannot underestimate the significance of anything. Clearly.

Where: Approaching Portugal
Who: Rob

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 5.25 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

If only they knew! I must tell them! Operator! Get me Kurnikova.

February 7th, 2007 by Captain

Man #1: I keep missing these tennis players, every time one comes to Sussex, I am in between boats. Kurnikova came - I was buying a boat. Sharapova came, I just sold.
Man #2: Even if you had a boat, you reckon they’d come on board?
Man #1: Oh, for sure, why do you think they wouldn’t?
Man #2: Because you are a weird guy with a 26 feet Contessa. That ain’t exactly Sharapova material
Man #1: She can see past that, can’t she?
Man #2: Oh, for sure.

Where: Jamaica Inn, London
Who: Pete W.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 4.14 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

Survival 101: Know where your booze is

January 22nd, 2007 by Captain

Man #1: You know those compases, how they say one type is for sailing boats and the other for motor boats?
Man #2: Yah
Man #1: Well, what’s the difference, motor boat less accurate or something?
Man #2: No, you can’t drink the motor boat one, they add stuff to alcohol in them, to dampen the motion.
Man #1: That’s good to know

Where: Maine, USA
Who: WinterSucks

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

In fact, I scare myself. Quite often.

January 18th, 2007 by Captain

Bloke #1: Bold guys are useless sailors, you know
Bloke #2: Mate, probably 80% of sailors are bold, this is not exactly youngster land
Bloke #1: Exactly. Full set of hair, me, bloody brilliant

Where: Off Skomer, Wales, UK
Who: Me

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 5.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

Fame! Da Da Da!

January 18th, 2007 by Captain

Man #1: Sailing has absolutely nothing to do with the type of boat you have. It’s a state of mind. Look at that bloke. He can’t even spell “boat”. He wouldn’t know a spinnaker from a Spinning Jenny.
Man #2: Errrm?
Man #1: Like I said, you need money.
Man #2: I am going to post you to “Overheard Sailing”

Where: Glasson Dock, UK
Who: Pembroke

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

Virtual Skipper V

January 15th, 2007 by Captain

Skipper #1: They have sailing channel on satellite here, I’ve got a 12V TV in the boat and a dish.
Skipper #2: So that you can watch sailing when you are on board?
Skipper #1: Yah, you know, in between sailing.
Skipper #2: You must seriously like sailing.
Skipper #1: Not as much as the wife likes her TV when she goes sailing with me.
Skipper #2: This really has nothing to do with sailing, has it?
Skipper #1: No, although I am doing a pretty good job of convincing you that it has!
Skipper #2: Not really.
Skipper #1: Righto, fancy a drink?

Where: Bastia, France
Who: JellyBaby

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 5.6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

And now, for my amazing trick…

January 13th, 2007 by Captain

Marina Official: Hello?
Guy at the top of the mast: Err.. Yes?
Marina Official: Have you paid?
Guy at the top of the mast: No, not yet.
Marina Official: Well, are you going to?
Guy at the top of the mast: Well, yes, when I am done fixing this
Marina Official: You are not going to just sail off, are you?
Guy at the top of the mast: Mate, I am hanging off the mast!
Marina Official: It could all be a trick

Where: Newhaven Marina, Newhaven, UK
Who: Robin’s mate

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 5.63 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

« Previous Entries