Bystander: What is the little arrow at the top of the mast?
Boat owner: That points to where I’m going.
Who: Roger
Where: Joli / Sailing Anarchy Forum
Current rating: : 3 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Man: What’s that noise?
Woman: That comes on at dusk, it’s an anti-bird device, it stops birds settling on the shrowds and shitting all over our deck.
Man: Does it work?
Woman: So far I only have a facial twitch from the piercing sound, but I am sure it will all pass and we will start to fully enjoy our bird-free lifestyle.
Where: Brest, France
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 5.25 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man #1: You know those compases, how they say one type is for sailing boats and the other for motor boats?
Man #2: Yah
Man #1: Well, what’s the difference, motor boat less accurate or something?
Man #2: No, you can’t drink the motor boat one, they add stuff to alcohol in them, to dampen the motion.
Man #1: That’s good to know
Where: Maine, USA
Who: WinterSucks
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: It’s all very well, but you are not making any ideology friends here. I mean, the language alone is alienating. What the hell is a haliard? You yell at me to pull it, you yell at me to let some sheets go. I am not impressed. Teaching should be complemented with sign language, in it’s basic form, pointing, for example, is the way forward. Call it ‘thingy’. Call it ‘that’. Complement it with direct action requests, i.e. ‘pull’ and ‘let go’. Then, people will reach out for you.
Skipper: Pull that, will you
Where: Wales, UK
Who: Crew
Current rating: : 5.75 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: Ok, We’ll get you straightened away. Just take this line I throw you and secure it to your aft cleat.
Man: No! At the STERN of the boat!
Man: NO! NO! That CLEAT there. There, on the back of the boat!
Man: THE FUCKING SILVER THING!!
Where: New Brunswick Canada, Cocagne Marine
Who: Bruce
Current rating: : 5.71 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Skipper: THE GRANNY KNOT! Damn it, the granny, you know over and in. THE GRANNY, GRANNY DAMN IT. Oh for God’s sake, some granny you’d make. Damn, how many times! One more time (really bellowing): THE FUCKING GRANNY KNOT.
Where: Canal around Evesham, UK
Who: Walker
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Tanker, eastern european accent: Pilot vessel, my trampoline is broken, please advise, over
Pilot Vessel: Errrm, please say again, what’s the nature of damage, sir, over
Tanker, eastern european accent: Pilot vessel, my trampoline, it is stuck, over
Pilot Vessel: “NAME WITHELD”, I don’t understand, what’s a trampoline, over
Tanker, eastern european accent: Trampoline, to get onboard, you know, trampoline, over
Pilot Vessel: Ok, understood, damage to steps, we’ll get some sorted once we are in. “NAME WITHELD”, I am approaching you portside. Over
Where: South Coast, UK
Who: SailorGirl
Current rating: : 4.44 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Landlubber: You guys have a name for a rope that ties an inflatable to the bigger boat?
Seasoned liveaboard with a bottle in his hand: Yah, it’s called a shrowd
Landlubber: What, like indians wear?
Seasoned liveaboard with a bottle in his hand: Ah, no, that’s a poncho
Where: Milford Haven, UK
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 4.33 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...
