Husband: Good morning, darling!!
Wife: Don’t bellow, you fool, I haven’t slept all night with all this din
Where: Aft cabin, Marina Porto Cervo, Italy
Who: Unfortunate crew
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Novice Sailor: Do you know a good cure for sea sickness?
Seasoned Sailor: Stand under a tree.
Where: Mayo SC
Who: Magic
Current rating: : 5.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Two yachtsmen alone in the middle of the ocean:
Man #1: What would you prefer now - wine or a woman?
Man #2: It depends on the year of production.
Where: Marina
Who: Rossy
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Early morning, it’s raining, good English summer rain.
An old yachtie walking to the showers, mumbing aloud: “I don’t mind getting wet at sea, but detest it on land!”
Where: East Coast marina, UK
Who: Multihullsailor
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... 1st drunk russian oarsman in dinghy: Leonid, would you please row faster? We are drifting to your side.
2nd drunk russian oarsman in dinghy: Sergey, it may be better for you to skip some.
Where: Night anchorage near Kalkan, Turkey
Who: SergeAx
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: Every time I go sailing, it’s like… it’s like… it’s like there is this 15 year old girl who is trying to get out and failing.
Woman: What?
Man: I meant “boy”, I meant “boy”.
Where: Sovereign Marina, Eastbourne
Who: SSSpike
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Man: I have simplified my view of the sailing world via stereotypes
Where: Brighton Marina, UK
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 3 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man #1: I always fly my curtesy flag. God sees everything and it’s the little things that count, you know
Man #2: And I bet it turns customs men into slushy puppies
Man #1: Hmmm, haven’t noticed that in particular, but I am more concerned about the bigger picture, you know, the grand scheme of things
Man #2: In that case you cannot underestimate the significance of anything. Clearly.
Where: Approaching Portugal
Who: Rob
Current rating: : 5.25 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man #1: I keep missing these tennis players, every time one comes to Sussex, I am in between boats. Kurnikova came - I was buying a boat. Sharapova came, I just sold.
Man #2: Even if you had a boat, you reckon they’d come on board?
Man #1: Oh, for sure, why do you think they wouldn’t?
Man #2: Because you are a weird guy with a 26 feet Contessa. That ain’t exactly Sharapova material
Man #1: She can see past that, can’t she?
Man #2: Oh, for sure.
Where: Jamaica Inn, London
Who: Pete W.
Current rating: : 4.14 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man #1: Would you ever consider slapping some advertising on your sails?
Man #2: Only if it’s Durex. In big letters.
Where: Honfleur Sailing Club Bar, France
Who: Sailor
Current rating: : 5.4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...