Man #1: Is this varnish supposed to come out that colour?
Man #2: Yah, similar thing happened to a girlfriend of mine once. She was not impressed either.
Who: MizzenShortOfAKetch
Where: Brighton marina boatyard, UK
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Husband: Good morning, darling!!
Wife: Don’t bellow, you fool, I haven’t slept all night with all this din
Where: Aft cabin, Marina Porto Cervo, Italy
Who: Unfortunate crew
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man 1: So, the way this works is that you have the mast stepped on the compression post, and the compression post runs all the way to the keel. The post is just behind this board here…
Prolonged screeching noise is heard as the boat runs aground
Man 1: And that was the keel
Man 2: Glad we chartered
Where: Split, Croatia
Who: Skip
Current rating: : 5.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Early morning, it’s raining, good English summer rain.
An old yachtie walking to the showers, mumbing aloud: “I don’t mind getting wet at sea, but detest it on land!”
Where: East Coast marina, UK
Who: Multihullsailor
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man #1: So, how did you manage to break your ribs?
Man #2: Phosphorescence
Man #1: Huh?
Man #2: I was looking out for it when I fell over
Where: Newhaven Boat Jumble, Newhaven, UK
Who: Highland500
Current rating: : 3.75 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Two seasick liveaboards at the stern, “feeding some fish”.
1st liveaboard: Well, it’s still better than work.
2nd liveaboard: Yes, but it’s Saturday, actually.
Where: Open sea, Cyclades, Greece
Who: SergeAx
Current rating: : 5.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Blowing force 9, boat has just come in from crossing the English Channel, young guy jumps out onto the pontoon and says:
Young Man: This was the most spectacular farewell to the idea of me sailing ever again.
Where: Sovereign Harbour, Eastbourne, UK
Who: Astrolabe
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: I actually failed “Competent crew” course. I fell in 4 times, lost 2 fenders and dropped the outboard overboard.
Woman: Oh, that is so funny, you poor thing, it’s the instructor’s fault, totally.
Where: “Plough and Anchor”, Portsmouth, UK
Who: SailorBob
Current rating: : 4.6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man #1: I keep missing these tennis players, every time one comes to Sussex, I am in between boats. Kurnikova came - I was buying a boat. Sharapova came, I just sold.
Man #2: Even if you had a boat, you reckon they’d come on board?
Man #1: Oh, for sure, why do you think they wouldn’t?
Man #2: Because you are a weird guy with a 26 feet Contessa. That ain’t exactly Sharapova material
Man #1: She can see past that, can’t she?
Man #2: Oh, for sure.
Where: Jamaica Inn, London
Who: Pete W.
Current rating: : 4.14 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: I’ll have these please
Woman at the till: Wow, three stanchions, you must have had fun!
Man: That’s not the official marina view, but I think I can use you as proof of their unreasonableness
Current rating: : 4.56 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...