Landlubber: You freeze your butt off in the winter so that you can avoid paying council tax?
Liveaboard: The fact of not paying it keeps me warm. And an oil heater.
Where: Lowestoft, UK
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 4.17 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Landlubber #1: The sail and the party was good Robin, thanks
Landlubber #2: Yah, apart from my cracked rib
Landlubber #1: You’ll have to come up to see us in the new year
Landlubber #2: Robin, you need to get some lights in the cockpit
Robin: Righto, see you next year, chaps.
Robin (walking away): Cunts
Where: Newhaven, UK
Who: Robin’s mate
Current rating: : 3.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Liveaboard: Hey, that’s not fair, I just don’t think that “Urban Tranquility” is my thing, that’s all.
Woman Companion, excitedly: But your boat has so much potential!
Where:Pier 39 marina, San Francisco, USA
Who: Pebble
Current rating: : 5.4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Skipper: Noo! Chris, I told you! Not the heads, it’s brand new!
Chris: Sorry, I had to go, it’s a toilet!
Skipper: You don’t understand.
Where: Fuengirola marina, Spain
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Drunk Man and drunken Woman walking along a wobbly pontoon
Man on mobile phone: Yah, well, tell him it will be monday
Man on mobile phone: Definitely
Man on mobile phone: Points at the boat to the woman, as if to tell her that this is the boat they need
Woman, turns left onto short finger pontoon: Giggles
Man on mobile phone: Ok Rob, I’ll speak to you monday, ok, bye.
Woman does not stop and walks off the pontoon straight into water: Aaaa, shit
Man, completely calm: What did you do that for?
Woman: I’ll give you what for, you bastard, pull me out.
Where: Sovereign Harbour, Eastbourne, UK
Who: SailorGirl
Current rating: : 4.29 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Landlubber: You guys have a name for a rope that ties an inflatable to the bigger boat?
Seasoned liveaboard with a bottle in his hand: Yah, it’s called a shrowd
Landlubber: What, like indians wear?
Seasoned liveaboard with a bottle in his hand: Ah, no, that’s a poncho
Where: Milford Haven, UK
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 4.33 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...