It’s a funnly old world on the high seas! Share yours, what have you heard?

Overheard Sailing…

It follows my wife’s spending pattern.

November 21st, 2007 by Captain

Bystander: What is the little arrow at the top of the mast?
Boat owner: That points to where I’m going.

Who: Roger
Where: Joli / Sailing Anarchy Forum

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 3 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

The Cherry Orchard, Anton Chekhov, 1904

August 31st, 2007 by Captain

Novice Sailor: Do you know a good cure for sea sickness?
Seasoned Sailor: Stand under a tree.

Where: Mayo SC
Who: Magic

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 5.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

Knitting rocks, if you don’t mind…

February 18th, 2007 by Captain

Blowing force 9, boat has just come in from crossing the English Channel, young guy jumps out onto the pontoon and says:

Young Man: This was the most spectacular farewell to the idea of me sailing ever again.

Where: Sovereign Harbour, Eastbourne, UK
Who: Astrolabe

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

Esta es la beauteau, don’t you know?

January 20th, 2007 by Captain

Man: It’s all very well, but you are not making any ideology friends here. I mean, the language alone is alienating. What the hell is a haliard? You yell at me to pull it, you yell at me to let some sheets go. I am not impressed. Teaching should be complemented with sign language, in it’s basic form, pointing, for example, is the way forward. Call it ‘thingy’. Call it ‘that’. Complement it with direct action requests, i.e. ‘pull’ and ‘let go’. Then, people will reach out for you.
Skipper: Pull that, will you

Where: Wales, UK
Who: Crew

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 5.75 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

You go play on the motorway, that’s a good boy

January 16th, 2007 by Captain

Sailbad the Sinner, coming on watch and expecting a course of 185 degrees: Why are we on a 270 degrees course?
Halfwitted boat owner: I’ve taken a course off the rose. We need 270 degrees for Ibiza
Sailbad the Sinner: The compass rose is printed on the chart. Do you think that wherever you are you need to take a 270 degree course to get to Ibiza?
Halfwitted boat owner, clearly stoned: Yes.
Sailbad the Sinner: Right. I’m taking over navigation for the rest of the trip. No arguments.

Who: Sailbad the Sinner
Where: In the Med, 100 miles south of Marseilles

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

Listen kid, as a propane salesman…

January 16th, 2007 by Captain

Stern looking man: Just imagine, spending your entire life sailing. Madness.

Where: Baleeira, Portugal
Who: Anonymous

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 2 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

That’s the one! Next to Corsica, can’t miss it.

January 13th, 2007 by Captain

Man: Ok, We’ll get you straightened away. Just take this line I throw you and secure it to your aft cleat.
Man: No! At the STERN of the boat!
Man: NO! NO! That CLEAT there. There, on the back of the boat!
Man: THE FUCKING SILVER THING!!

Where: New Brunswick Canada, Cocagne Marine
Who: Bruce

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 5.71 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

I kill germs at 3 paces. With a hammer

January 10th, 2007 by Captain

Woman: Yes, but they are so unhygienic!
Man: What, boats?
Woman: Well, yah, you are stuck on them for weeks with some guy, all sorts of germs may pass back and forth
Man: Quite, sailing is rubbish like that.

Where: San Francisco, USA
Who: SanFranJo

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 5.33 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

Tomorrow - the world!

January 3rd, 2007 by Captain

Girl: I really want to learn to sail
Man: Oh yeah? Why’s that?
Girl: I want to meet someone with a lot of money.
Man: Ha.

Where: Long Island, NY
Who: Salty

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 4.4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

Round the world in 2 hours.

January 1st, 2007 by Captain

Captain: Let me just work out the tides, and then we are off
Crew: Cool, but, bear in mind I only have 2 hours parking
Captain: Really? That’s nice of you. I hate crew.

Where: Morecambe Bay, UK
Who: Anonymous

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 4.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Loading ...

« Previous Entries