Bystander: What is the little arrow at the top of the mast?
Boat owner: That points to where I’m going.
Who: Roger
Where: Joli / Sailing Anarchy Forum
Current rating: : 3 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Novice Sailor: Do you know a good cure for sea sickness?
Seasoned Sailor: Stand under a tree.
Where: Mayo SC
Who: Magic
Current rating: : 5.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Blowing force 9, boat has just come in from crossing the English Channel, young guy jumps out onto the pontoon and says:
Young Man: This was the most spectacular farewell to the idea of me sailing ever again.
Where: Sovereign Harbour, Eastbourne, UK
Who: Astrolabe
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: It’s all very well, but you are not making any ideology friends here. I mean, the language alone is alienating. What the hell is a haliard? You yell at me to pull it, you yell at me to let some sheets go. I am not impressed. Teaching should be complemented with sign language, in it’s basic form, pointing, for example, is the way forward. Call it ‘thingy’. Call it ‘that’. Complement it with direct action requests, i.e. ‘pull’ and ‘let go’. Then, people will reach out for you.
Skipper: Pull that, will you
Where: Wales, UK
Who: Crew
Current rating: : 5.75 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Sailbad the Sinner, coming on watch and expecting a course of 185 degrees: Why are we on a 270 degrees course?
Halfwitted boat owner: I’ve taken a course off the rose. We need 270 degrees for Ibiza
Sailbad the Sinner: The compass rose is printed on the chart. Do you think that wherever you are you need to take a 270 degree course to get to Ibiza?
Halfwitted boat owner, clearly stoned: Yes.
Sailbad the Sinner: Right. I’m taking over navigation for the rest of the trip. No arguments.
Who: Sailbad the Sinner
Where: In the Med, 100 miles south of Marseilles
Current rating: : 6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Stern looking man: Just imagine, spending your entire life sailing. Madness.
Where: Baleeira, Portugal
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 2 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: Ok, We’ll get you straightened away. Just take this line I throw you and secure it to your aft cleat.
Man: No! At the STERN of the boat!
Man: NO! NO! That CLEAT there. There, on the back of the boat!
Man: THE FUCKING SILVER THING!!
Where: New Brunswick Canada, Cocagne Marine
Who: Bruce
Current rating: : 5.71 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Woman: Yes, but they are so unhygienic!
Man: What, boats?
Woman: Well, yah, you are stuck on them for weeks with some guy, all sorts of germs may pass back and forth
Man: Quite, sailing is rubbish like that.
Where: San Francisco, USA
Who: SanFranJo
Current rating: : 5.33 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Girl: I really want to learn to sail
Man: Oh yeah? Why’s that?
Girl: I want to meet someone with a lot of money.
Man: Ha.
Where: Long Island, NY
Who: Salty
Current rating: : 4.4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Captain: Let me just work out the tides, and then we are off
Crew: Cool, but, bear in mind I only have 2 hours parking
Captain: Really? That’s nice of you. I hate crew.
Where: Morecambe Bay, UK
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 4.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...