Man #1: Is this varnish supposed to come out that colour?
Man #2: Yah, similar thing happened to a girlfriend of mine once. She was not impressed either.
Who: MizzenShortOfAKetch
Where: Brighton marina boatyard, UK
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Bystander: What is the little arrow at the top of the mast?
Boat owner: That points to where I’m going.
Who: Roger
Where: Joli / Sailing Anarchy Forum
Current rating: : 3 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man 1: So, the way this works is that you have the mast stepped on the compression post, and the compression post runs all the way to the keel. The post is just behind this board here…
Prolonged screeching noise is heard as the boat runs aground
Man 1: And that was the keel
Man 2: Glad we chartered
Where: Split, Croatia
Who: Skip
Current rating: : 5.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Novice Sailor: Do you know a good cure for sea sickness?
Seasoned Sailor: Stand under a tree.
Where: Mayo SC
Who: Magic
Current rating: : 5.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: I actually failed “Competent crew” course. I fell in 4 times, lost 2 fenders and dropped the outboard overboard.
Woman: Oh, that is so funny, you poor thing, it’s the instructor’s fault, totally.
Where: “Plough and Anchor”, Portsmouth, UK
Who: SailorBob
Current rating: : 4.6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: I’ll have these please
Woman at the till: Wow, three stanchions, you must have had fun!
Man: That’s not the official marina view, but I think I can use you as proof of their unreasonableness
Current rating: : 4.56 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: What’s that noise?
Woman: That comes on at dusk, it’s an anti-bird device, it stops birds settling on the shrowds and shitting all over our deck.
Man: Does it work?
Woman: So far I only have a facial twitch from the piercing sound, but I am sure it will all pass and we will start to fully enjoy our bird-free lifestyle.
Where: Brest, France
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 5.25 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man #1: You know those compases, how they say one type is for sailing boats and the other for motor boats?
Man #2: Yah
Man #1: Well, what’s the difference, motor boat less accurate or something?
Man #2: No, you can’t drink the motor boat one, they add stuff to alcohol in them, to dampen the motion.
Man #1: That’s good to know
Where: Maine, USA
Who: WinterSucks
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Skipper #1: They have sailing channel on satellite here, I’ve got a 12V TV in the boat and a dish.
Skipper #2: So that you can watch sailing when you are on board?
Skipper #1: Yah, you know, in between sailing.
Skipper #2: You must seriously like sailing.
Skipper #1: Not as much as the wife likes her TV when she goes sailing with me.
Skipper #2: This really has nothing to do with sailing, has it?
Skipper #1: No, although I am doing a pretty good job of convincing you that it has!
Skipper #2: Not really.
Skipper #1: Righto, fancy a drink?
Where: Bastia, France
Who: JellyBaby
Current rating: : 5.6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Marina Official: Hello?
Guy at the top of the mast: Err.. Yes?
Marina Official: Have you paid?
Guy at the top of the mast: No, not yet.
Marina Official: Well, are you going to?
Guy at the top of the mast: Well, yes, when I am done fixing this
Marina Official: You are not going to just sail off, are you?
Guy at the top of the mast: Mate, I am hanging off the mast!
Marina Official: It could all be a trick
Where: Newhaven Marina, Newhaven, UK
Who: Robin’s mate
Current rating: : 5.63 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...