Man #1: Is this varnish supposed to come out that colour?
Man #2: Yah, similar thing happened to a girlfriend of mine once. She was not impressed either.
Who: MizzenShortOfAKetch
Where: Brighton marina boatyard, UK
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Man 1: So, the way this works is that you have the mast stepped on the compression post, and the compression post runs all the way to the keel. The post is just behind this board here…
Prolonged screeching noise is heard as the boat runs aground
Man 1: And that was the keel
Man 2: Glad we chartered
Where: Split, Croatia
Who: Skip
Current rating: : 5.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Next to a complete wreck of a brand new boat:
Charter Manager, rather miserably: Well, apart from this, did you enjoy your weekend?
Skipper, rather neurotically: It was not my fault!
Where: Cowes
Who: Racing gets you in the end
Current rating: : 5.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man #1: So, was everyone OK after the collision?
Man #2: Yah, all good. Apart from the girl who was on the loo at the time. She was not impressed.
Where: Solent
Who: Regatta
Current rating: : 5.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Thursday, 24 May 2007, approx. 1915hrs.
VHF Channel 16: “This is Cape Town, Port Elizabeth and Durban Radio. There will be no Weather Forecast at 7.15 this evening due to staff unavailability”.
Stunned silence from the airwaves for a moment, followed by a call from some vessel to ask what that was all about.
VHF Channel 16: ” I am the only person on duty and I don’t have time to read a Weather Forecast with all my other work”.
Click. Silence for the rest of the night. That’s Africa for you!
Who: Multihullsailor
Where: VHF / Sailing for Southern Africa mag
Current rating: : 5.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man #1: I am organising a regatta, will you come?
Man #2: Where is it?
Man #1: Dunno yet, but there will be yachts and women, you’ll love it
Man #2: I’ll bring my RYA training chart, might come in handy
Where: London
Who: Anon
Current rating: : 4.75 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Tactician: What was our course when we rounded the top mark?!
Mastman/compass guy: I dunno, I was jumping the hally!
Tactician: Come on, just take a fucking guess of what it was before we gybed!
Mastman/compass guy: We were sailing at 3.6.5 degrees.
Where: on boat
Who: m1
Current rating: : 3 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man #1: So, how did you manage to break your ribs?
Man #2: Phosphorescence
Man #1: Huh?
Man #2: I was looking out for it when I fell over
Where: Newhaven Boat Jumble, Newhaven, UK
Who: Highland500
Current rating: : 3.75 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Customer: We have a problem, the boat is leaning over.
Charter office: Ermm… okay. How far?
Customer: About 45 degrees!
Charter office: Are the sails up?
Customer: No. We’re at anchor.
Charter office: Okay, here’s what you do. Wait six hours and when the tide comes in, move the boat off the reef. Then you can come back here, because we’d like to talk to you.
Where: Whitsundays, Australia, Overheard on a radio schedule one morning
Who: Nickj69
Current rating: : 4.63 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Angry Man: If you absolutely have to get to the Isle of Wight, you use a chart. It is simple. You look up where you are, you lookup where the Isle of Wight is, and you go from there. You do not say, it is over there and end up in Portsmouth. It just should not happen.
Where: Haslar Marina, Portsmouth Harbour, Portsmouth
Who: Wish I was sailing
Current rating: : 3.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...