Husband: Good morning, darling!!
Wife: Don’t bellow, you fool, I haven’t slept all night with all this din
Where: Aft cabin, Marina Porto Cervo, Italy
Who: Unfortunate crew
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Man 1: So, the way this works is that you have the mast stepped on the compression post, and the compression post runs all the way to the keel. The post is just behind this board here…
Prolonged screeching noise is heard as the boat runs aground
Man 1: And that was the keel
Man 2: Glad we chartered
Where: Split, Croatia
Who: Skip
Current rating: : 5.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Thursday, 24 May 2007, approx. 1915hrs.
VHF Channel 16: “This is Cape Town, Port Elizabeth and Durban Radio. There will be no Weather Forecast at 7.15 this evening due to staff unavailability”.
Stunned silence from the airwaves for a moment, followed by a call from some vessel to ask what that was all about.
VHF Channel 16: ” I am the only person on duty and I don’t have time to read a Weather Forecast with all my other work”.
Click. Silence for the rest of the night. That’s Africa for you!
Who: Multihullsailor
Where: VHF / Sailing for Southern Africa mag
Current rating: : 5.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Skipper #1: They have sailing channel on satellite here, I’ve got a 12V TV in the boat and a dish.
Skipper #2: So that you can watch sailing when you are on board?
Skipper #1: Yah, you know, in between sailing.
Skipper #2: You must seriously like sailing.
Skipper #1: Not as much as the wife likes her TV when she goes sailing with me.
Skipper #2: This really has nothing to do with sailing, has it?
Skipper #1: No, although I am doing a pretty good job of convincing you that it has!
Skipper #2: Not really.
Skipper #1: Righto, fancy a drink?
Where: Bastia, France
Who: JellyBaby
Current rating: : 5.6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Aussie into the phone: So, tell me, is it good? Good sailing, I mean? Nice and warm and all that?
Aussie into the phone: What do you mean, locked in ice? Oh. Where are you again? Oh, blimey, you would be in ice down there! I thought you were in Tenerife and Europe and all that!
Where: Sydney, Australia
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Skipper: Kanal Neuf? Which one is neuf?
Wife: Neuf… Neuf… Neuf is black, isn’t it?
Skipper: No, that’s shwartz, or something, either way, it’s in German, this is French.
Wife: That boat next to us is French, ask them?
Skipper: You think this will be more successful than talking to this bloke?
Wife: Yah, his wife is english.
Skipper: He’s been there for exactly (checks his watch) 11 minutes, how do you know this?
Wife: They had bacon on the go when they moored up. They have no bacon in France. Easy.
Where: St. Malo, France
Who: Arno
Current rating: : 3.25 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Babbling Sailor: My wife, she is onboard, we are from Belgium, but she is not EU, she needs her passport stamped, do you have customs here, or a customs number, or coastguard? Who do I contact? She needs her passport stamped, she is not EU.
Marina chap: Hmmmmm. No.
Babbling Sailor: Oh
Where: Fecamp, France
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...
