It’s a funnly old world on the high seas! Share yours, what have you heard?

Overheard Sailing…

How very very dare you!

December 19th, 2007 by Captain

Husband: Good morning, darling!!
Wife: Don’t bellow, you fool, I haven’t slept all night with all this din

Where: Aft cabin, Marina Porto Cervo, Italy
Who: Unfortunate crew

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I love it when a plan comes together

November 4th, 2007 by Captain

Man 1: So, the way this works is that you have the mast stepped on the compression post, and the compression post runs all the way to the keel. The post is just behind this board here…
Prolonged screeching noise is heard as the boat runs aground
Man 1: And that was the keel
Man 2: Glad we chartered

Where: Split, Croatia
Who: Skip

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As long as her birth certificate hasn’t expired…

August 31st, 2007 by Captain

Two yachtsmen alone in the middle of the ocean:
Man #1: What would you prefer now - wine or a woman?
Man #2: It depends on the year of production.

Where: Marina
Who: Rossy

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Ah, it’s all in the stroke, gently, gently my friend!

May 14th, 2007 by Captain

1st drunk russian oarsman in dinghy: Leonid, would you please row faster? We are drifting to your side.
2nd drunk russian oarsman in dinghy: Sergey, it may be better for you to skip some.

Where: Night anchorage near Kalkan, Turkey
Who: SergeAx

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You wait till he goes rock climbing…

April 27th, 2007 by Captain

Man: Every time I go sailing, it’s like… it’s like… it’s like there is this 15 year old girl who is trying to get out and failing.
Woman: What?
Man: I meant “boy”, I meant “boy”.

Where: Sovereign Marina, Eastbourne
Who: SSSpike

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Filed under Sailing is..., WTF?, Crew having No Comments »

Knitting rocks, if you don’t mind…

February 18th, 2007 by Captain

Blowing force 9, boat has just come in from crossing the English Channel, young guy jumps out onto the pontoon and says:

Young Man: This was the most spectacular farewell to the idea of me sailing ever again.

Where: Sovereign Harbour, Eastbourne, UK
Who: Astrolabe

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Valentine’s day tip #1. That’s how you do it!

February 13th, 2007 by Captain

Man: I actually failed “Competent crew” course. I fell in 4 times, lost 2 fenders and dropped the outboard overboard.
Woman: Oh, that is so funny, you poor thing, it’s the instructor’s fault, totally.

Where: “Plough and Anchor”, Portsmouth, UK
Who: SailorBob

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 4.6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
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Esta es la beauteau, don’t you know?

January 20th, 2007 by Captain

Man: It’s all very well, but you are not making any ideology friends here. I mean, the language alone is alienating. What the hell is a haliard? You yell at me to pull it, you yell at me to let some sheets go. I am not impressed. Teaching should be complemented with sign language, in it’s basic form, pointing, for example, is the way forward. Call it ‘thingy’. Call it ‘that’. Complement it with direct action requests, i.e. ‘pull’ and ‘let go’. Then, people will reach out for you.
Skipper: Pull that, will you

Where: Wales, UK
Who: Crew

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars Current rating: : 5.75 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
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Like, live a little, man

January 17th, 2007 by Captain

Angry Man: If you absolutely have to get to the Isle of Wight, you use a chart. It is simple. You look up where you are, you lookup where the Isle of Wight is, and you go from there. You do not say, it is over there and end up in Portsmouth. It just should not happen.

Where: Haslar Marina, Portsmouth Harbour, Portsmouth
Who: Wish I was sailing

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Come on our boats, eat all the biscuits… Cont. p94.

January 12th, 2007 by Captain

Girl Skipper: All I wanted was a girly sail but then men came and everything changed

Where: The West Quay, Brighton Marina, UK
Who: Anonymous

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Filed under Girls, Crew having No Comments »

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