Double-handing a 6m Waarschip monohull on the southern side of the Isle of Wight, with me in the cabin, a downdraught off the cliffs laid us flat for about 30 seconds with the mast touching the water.

After our trusty little boat righted herself, now approx. 600 kgs heavier due to water in-take through the cockpit sides, my crew and helmsman at the time just said:
“Whooo, that was interesting, can we do it again?”

Where: On board
Who: multihullsailor6

Current rating: : 3 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Moscow yacht manager calls the crew at 21:00 (first time on the boat):
Manager: how are you there?
Crew: – fantastic! Sailing, swimming nonstop and so on!
Manager:- are you in marina?
Crew:- no, we are at anchor! Our skipper wanted to go to marina, but we preferred to be at anchor!
Manager:- can i talk to the skip?
Crew:- no, he said he expected bora of 40knots, took a dinghy and left the boat to see some friends…

Who: Parus
Where: Moscow Kornati islands(croatia)

Current rating: : 5.6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Husband: Good morning, darling!!
Wife: Don’t bellow, you fool, I haven’t slept all night with all this din

Where: Aft cabin, Marina Porto Cervo, Italy
Who: Unfortunate crew

Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man 1: So, the way this works is that you have the mast stepped on the compression post, and the compression post runs all the way to the keel. The post is just behind this board here…
Prolonged screeching noise is heard as the boat runs aground
Man 1: And that was the keel
Man 2: Glad we chartered

Where: Split, Croatia
Who: Skip

Current rating: : 5.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Two yachtsmen alone in the middle of the ocean:
Man #1: What would you prefer now – wine or a woman?
Man #2: It depends on the year of production.

Where: Marina
Who: Rossy

Current rating: : 5.4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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1st drunk russian oarsman in dinghy: Leonid, would you please row faster? We are drifting to your side.
2nd drunk russian oarsman in dinghy: Sergey, it may be better for you to skip some.

Where: Night anchorage near Kalkan, Turkey
Who: SergeAx

Current rating: : 5.1 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man: Every time I go sailing, it’s like… it’s like… it’s like there is this 15 year old girl who is trying to get out and failing.
Woman: What?
Man: I meant “boy”, I meant “boy”.

Where: Sovereign Marina, Eastbourne
Who: SSSpike

Current rating: : 5.25 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Blowing force 9, boat has just come in from crossing the English Channel, young guy jumps out onto the pontoon and says:

Young Man: This was the most spectacular farewell to the idea of me sailing ever again.

Where: Sovereign Harbour, Eastbourne, UK
Who: Astrolabe

Current rating: : 5.29 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man: I actually failed “Competent crew” course. I fell in 4 times, lost 2 fenders and dropped the outboard overboard.
Woman: Oh, that is so funny, you poor thing, it’s the instructor’s fault, totally.

Where: “Plough and Anchor”, Portsmouth, UK
Who: SailorBob

Current rating: : 4.6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man: It’s all very well, but you are not making any ideology friends here. I mean, the language alone is alienating. What the hell is a haliard? You yell at me to pull it, you yell at me to let some sheets go. I am not impressed. Teaching should be complemented with sign language, in it’s basic form, pointing, for example, is the way forward. Call it ‘thingy’. Call it ‘that’. Complement it with direct action requests, i.e. ‘pull’ and ‘let go’. Then, people will reach out for you.
Skipper: Pull that, will you

Where: Wales, UK
Who: Crew

Current rating: : 5.4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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