Husband: Good morning, darling!!
Wife: Don’t bellow, you fool, I haven’t slept all night with all this din
Where: Aft cabin, Marina Porto Cervo, Italy
Who: Unfortunate crew
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Man 1: So, the way this works is that you have the mast stepped on the compression post, and the compression post runs all the way to the keel. The post is just behind this board here…
Prolonged screeching noise is heard as the boat runs aground
Man 1: And that was the keel
Man 2: Glad we chartered
Where: Split, Croatia
Who: Skip
Current rating: : 5.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Two yachtsmen alone in the middle of the ocean:
Man #1: What would you prefer now - wine or a woman?
Man #2: It depends on the year of production.
Where: Marina
Who: Rossy
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... 1st drunk russian oarsman in dinghy: Leonid, would you please row faster? We are drifting to your side.
2nd drunk russian oarsman in dinghy: Sergey, it may be better for you to skip some.
Where: Night anchorage near Kalkan, Turkey
Who: SergeAx
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: Every time I go sailing, it’s like… it’s like… it’s like there is this 15 year old girl who is trying to get out and failing.
Woman: What?
Man: I meant “boy”, I meant “boy”.
Where: Sovereign Marina, Eastbourne
Who: SSSpike
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Blowing force 9, boat has just come in from crossing the English Channel, young guy jumps out onto the pontoon and says:
Young Man: This was the most spectacular farewell to the idea of me sailing ever again.
Where: Sovereign Harbour, Eastbourne, UK
Who: Astrolabe
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: I actually failed “Competent crew” course. I fell in 4 times, lost 2 fenders and dropped the outboard overboard.
Woman: Oh, that is so funny, you poor thing, it’s the instructor’s fault, totally.
Where: “Plough and Anchor”, Portsmouth, UK
Who: SailorBob
Current rating: : 4.6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Man: It’s all very well, but you are not making any ideology friends here. I mean, the language alone is alienating. What the hell is a haliard? You yell at me to pull it, you yell at me to let some sheets go. I am not impressed. Teaching should be complemented with sign language, in it’s basic form, pointing, for example, is the way forward. Call it ‘thingy’. Call it ‘that’. Complement it with direct action requests, i.e. ‘pull’ and ‘let go’. Then, people will reach out for you.
Skipper: Pull that, will you
Where: Wales, UK
Who: Crew
Current rating: : 5.75 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Angry Man: If you absolutely have to get to the Isle of Wight, you use a chart. It is simple. You look up where you are, you lookup where the Isle of Wight is, and you go from there. You do not say, it is over there and end up in Portsmouth. It just should not happen.
Where: Haslar Marina, Portsmouth Harbour, Portsmouth
Who: Wish I was sailing
Current rating: : 3.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Girl Skipper: All I wanted was a girly sail but then men came and everything changed
Where: The West Quay, Brighton Marina, UK
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 5.25 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...