Husband: Good morning, darling!!
Wife: Don’t bellow, you fool, I haven’t slept all night with all this din
Where: Aft cabin, Marina Porto Cervo, Italy
Who: Unfortunate crew
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Skipper #1: They have sailing channel on satellite here, I’ve got a 12V TV in the boat and a dish.
Skipper #2: So that you can watch sailing when you are on board?
Skipper #1: Yah, you know, in between sailing.
Skipper #2: You must seriously like sailing.
Skipper #1: Not as much as the wife likes her TV when she goes sailing with me.
Skipper #2: This really has nothing to do with sailing, has it?
Skipper #1: No, although I am doing a pretty good job of convincing you that it has!
Skipper #2: Not really.
Skipper #1: Righto, fancy a drink?
Where: Bastia, France
Who: JellyBaby
Current rating: : 5.6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Skipper: THE GRANNY KNOT! Damn it, the granny, you know over and in. THE GRANNY, GRANNY DAMN IT. Oh for God’s sake, some granny you’d make. Damn, how many times! One more time (really bellowing): THE FUCKING GRANNY KNOT.
Where: Canal around Evesham, UK
Who: Walker
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Chap on pontoon #1: Hey, I tell you though, marinas on the continent are much better
Chap on pontoon #2: Really?
Chap on pontoon #1: Yes, and cheaper
Chap on pontoon #2: Are the facilities good?
Chap on pontoon #1: Oh yes, much much better than here, for half the price
Chap on pontoon #2: Well, why don’t you move?
Chap on pontoon #1: I can’t, my wife is French, she’d feel empowered in her own country, I’d never go sailing then
Where: Shoreham, UK
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 4.75 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Woman on pontoon: I said no, we are eating out tonight
Man: What’s the point of coming down to the boat and then going out to eat
Woman on pontoon: I don’t think I even need to answer that
Man: Yah, solid logic honey
Where: Northern Ireland, UK
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 4.25 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Tanker “******* Rosso”: Fishing Vessel on my port, you are in the channel, please move
Tanker “******* Rosso”: Fishing Vessel on my port, you are in the channel, please move
Fishing Vessel: I am fishing.
Harbour Control, with a tremendous Irish accent: Dougel, this is harbour control, move it
Fishing Vessel: Well, he started it
Where: VHF 16, Northern Ireland, UK
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 4.88 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...
