Moscow yacht manager calls the crew at 21:00 (first time on the boat):
Manager: how are you there?
Crew: – fantastic! Sailing, swimming nonstop and so on!
Manager:- are you in marina?
Crew:- no, we are at anchor! Our skipper wanted to go to marina, but we preferred to be at anchor!
Manager:- can i talk to the skip?
Crew:- no, he said he expected bora of 40knots, took a dinghy and left the boat to see some friends…

Who: Parus
Where: Moscow Kornati islands(croatia)

Current rating: : 5.6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Husband: Good morning, darling!!
Wife: Don’t bellow, you fool, I haven’t slept all night with all this din

Where: Aft cabin, Marina Porto Cervo, Italy
Who: Unfortunate crew

Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man 1: So, the way this works is that you have the mast stepped on the compression post, and the compression post runs all the way to the keel. The post is just behind this board here…
Prolonged screeching noise is heard as the boat runs aground
Man 1: And that was the keel
Man 2: Glad we chartered

Where: Split, Croatia
Who: Skip

Current rating: : 5.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Next to a complete wreck of a brand new boat:

Charter Manager, rather miserably: Well, apart from this, did you enjoy your weekend?
Skipper, rather neurotically: It was not my fault!

Where: Cowes
Who: Racing gets you in the end

Current rating: : 4.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Customer: We have a problem, the boat is leaning over.
Charter office: Ermm… okay. How far?
Customer: About 45 degrees!
Charter office: Are the sails up?
Customer: No. We’re at anchor.
Charter office: Okay, here’s what you do. Wait six hours and when the tide comes in, move the boat off the reef. Then you can come back here, because we’d like to talk to you.

Where: Whitsundays, Australia, Overheard on a radio schedule one morning
Who: Nickj69

Current rating: : 4.78 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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