How very very dare you!
Husband: Good morning, darling!!
Wife: Don’t bellow, you fool, I haven’t slept all night with all this din
Where: Aft cabin, Marina Porto Cervo, Italy
Who: Unfortunate crew
Husband: Good morning, darling!!
Wife: Don’t bellow, you fool, I haven’t slept all night with all this din
Where: Aft cabin, Marina Porto Cervo, Italy
Who: Unfortunate crew
Man 1: So, the way this works is that you have the mast stepped on the compression post, and the compression post runs all the way to the keel. The post is just behind this board here…
Prolonged screeching noise is heard as the boat runs aground
Man 1: And that was the keel
Man 2: Glad we chartered
Where: Split, Croatia
Who: Skip
Next to a complete wreck of a brand new boat:
Charter Manager, rather miserably: Well, apart from this, did you enjoy your weekend?
Skipper, rather neurotically: It was not my fault!
Where: Cowes
Who: Racing gets you in the end
Customer: We have a problem, the boat is leaning over.
Charter office: Ermm… okay. How far?
Customer: About 45 degrees!
Charter office: Are the sails up?
Customer: No. We’re at anchor.
Charter office: Okay, here’s what you do. Wait six hours and when the tide comes in, move the boat off the reef. Then you can come back here, because we’d like to talk to you.
Where: Whitsundays, Australia, Overheard on a radio schedule one morning
Who: Nickj69