Two seasick liveaboards at the stern, “feeding some fish”.

1st liveaboard: Well, it’s still better than work.
2nd liveaboard: Yes, but it’s Saturday, actually.

Where: Open sea, Cyclades, Greece
Who: SergeAx

Current rating: : 5.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man: I have simplified my view of the sailing world via stereotypes

Where: Brighton Marina, UK
Who: Anonymous

Current rating: : 3 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man #1: I always fly my curtesy flag. God sees everything and it’s the little things that count, you know
Man #2: And I bet it turns customs men into slushy puppies
Man #1: Hmmm, haven’t noticed that in particular, but I am more concerned about the bigger picture, you know, the grand scheme of things
Man #2: In that case you cannot underestimate the significance of anything. Clearly.

Where: Approaching Portugal
Who: Rob

Current rating: : 5.25 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man: Yes, but you sail in such a boring way, hence you will never win
Woman: Yah, whatever, your boat is not my Viagra, deal with it
Man: That was below the belt

Where: Vancouver, Canada
Who: Alpine Joe

Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man: I actually failed “Competent crew” course. I fell in 4 times, lost 2 fenders and dropped the outboard overboard.
Woman: Oh, that is so funny, you poor thing, it’s the instructor’s fault, totally.

Where: “Plough and Anchor”, Portsmouth, UK
Who: SailorBob

Current rating: : 4.6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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After the 3rd day at Whidbey Island Race Week, a man walking down the dock at night hears sounds emenating from an open hatch. He pauses and clearly hears an annoyed female voice exclaim:

“let go of my ears, I know what I’m doing.”

Where: Oak Harbor Marina, USA
Who: Seattle Sailor

Current rating: : 6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man #1: Would you ever consider slapping some advertising on your sails?
Man #2: Only if it’s Durex. In big letters.

Where: Honfleur Sailing Club Bar, France
Who: Sailor

Current rating: : 5.33 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Captain looking chap: Ha! Charts are for wimps. Goddamn unskilled mainland people.

Where: Ireland
Who: Wimp

Current rating: : 6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man #1: You know those compases, how they say one type is for sailing boats and the other for motor boats?
Man #2: Yah
Man #1: Well, what’s the difference, motor boat less accurate or something?
Man #2: No, you can’t drink the motor boat one, they add stuff to alcohol in them, to dampen the motion.
Man #1: That’s good to know

Where: Maine, USA
Who: WinterSucks

Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man: It’s all very well, but you are not making any ideology friends here. I mean, the language alone is alienating. What the hell is a haliard? You yell at me to pull it, you yell at me to let some sheets go. I am not impressed. Teaching should be complemented with sign language, in it’s basic form, pointing, for example, is the way forward. Call it ‘thingy’. Call it ‘that’. Complement it with direct action requests, i.e. ‘pull’ and ‘let go’. Then, people will reach out for you.
Skipper: Pull that, will you

Where: Wales, UK
Who: Crew

Current rating: : 5.4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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