Man: I actually failed “Competent crew” course. I fell in 4 times, lost 2 fenders and dropped the outboard overboard.
Woman: Oh, that is so funny, you poor thing, it’s the instructor’s fault, totally.

Where: “Plough and Anchor”, Portsmouth, UK
Who: SailorBob

Current rating: : 4.6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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After the 3rd day at Whidbey Island Race Week, a man walking down the dock at night hears sounds emenating from an open hatch. He pauses and clearly hears an annoyed female voice exclaim:

“let go of my ears, I know what I’m doing.”

Where: Oak Harbor Marina, USA
Who: Seattle Sailor

Current rating: : 6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man #1: Would you ever consider slapping some advertising on your sails?
Man #2: Only if it’s Durex. In big letters.

Where: Honfleur Sailing Club Bar, France
Who: Sailor

Current rating: : 5.4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Captain looking chap: Ha! Charts are for wimps. Goddamn unskilled mainland people.

Where: Ireland
Who: Wimp

Current rating: : 6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man #1: You know those compases, how they say one type is for sailing boats and the other for motor boats?
Man #2: Yah
Man #1: Well, what’s the difference, motor boat less accurate or something?
Man #2: No, you can’t drink the motor boat one, they add stuff to alcohol in them, to dampen the motion.
Man #1: That’s good to know

Where: Maine, USA
Who: WinterSucks

Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man: It’s all very well, but you are not making any ideology friends here. I mean, the language alone is alienating. What the hell is a haliard? You yell at me to pull it, you yell at me to let some sheets go. I am not impressed. Teaching should be complemented with sign language, in it’s basic form, pointing, for example, is the way forward. Call it ‘thingy’. Call it ‘that’. Complement it with direct action requests, i.e. ‘pull’ and ‘let go’. Then, people will reach out for you.
Skipper: Pull that, will you

Where: Wales, UK
Who: Crew

Current rating: : 5.75 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Bloke #1: Bold guys are useless sailors, you know
Bloke #2: Mate, probably 80% of sailors are bold, this is not exactly youngster land
Bloke #1: Exactly. Full set of hair, me, bloody brilliant

Where: Off Skomer, Wales, UK
Who: Me

Current rating: : 5.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man #1: Sailing has absolutely nothing to do with the type of boat you have. It’s a state of mind. Look at that bloke. He can’t even spell “boat”. He wouldn’t know a spinnaker from a Spinning Jenny.
Man #2: Errrm?
Man #1: Like I said, you need money.
Man #2: I am going to post you to “Overheard Sailing”

Where: Glasson Dock, UK
Who: Pembroke

Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Stern looking man: Just imagine, spending your entire life sailing. Madness.

Where: Baleeira, Portugal
Who: Anonymous

Current rating: : 2 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man: A boat is not a means of transport. It is a luxury. Full stop.

Where: Oxford Arms, Camden, UK
Who: Rob

Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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