Man 1: So, the way this works is that you have the mast stepped on the compression post, and the compression post runs all the way to the keel. The post is just behind this board here…
Prolonged screeching noise is heard as the boat runs aground
Man 1: And that was the keel
Man 2: Glad we chartered

Where: Split, Croatia
Who: Skip

Current rating: : 5.67 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Thursday, 24 May 2007, approx. 1915hrs.

VHF Channel 16: “This is Cape Town, Port Elizabeth and Durban Radio. There will be no Weather Forecast at 7.15 this evening due to staff unavailability”.

Stunned silence from the airwaves for a moment, followed by a call from some vessel to ask what that was all about.

VHF Channel 16: ” I am the only person on duty and I don’t have time to read a Weather Forecast with all my other work”.

Click. Silence for the rest of the night. That’s Africa for you!

Who: Multihullsailor
Where: VHF / Sailing for Southern Africa mag

Current rating: : 5.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Novice Sailor: Do you know a good cure for sea sickness?
Seasoned Sailor: Stand under a tree.

Where: Mayo SC
Who: Magic

Current rating: : 5.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Two yachtsmen alone in the middle of the ocean:
Man #1: What would you prefer now - wine or a woman?
Man #2: It depends on the year of production.

Where: Marina
Who: Rossy

Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Early morning, it’s raining, good English summer rain.
An old yachtie walking to the showers, mumbing aloud: “I don’t mind getting wet at sea, but detest it on land!”

Where: East Coast marina, UK
Who: Multihullsailor

Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Tactician: What was our course when we rounded the top mark?!
Mastman/compass guy: I dunno, I was jumping the hally!
Tactician: Come on, just take a fucking guess of what it was before we gybed!
Mastman/compass guy: We were sailing at 3.6.5 degrees.

Where: on boat
Who: m1

Current rating: : 3 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Two seasick liveaboards at the stern, “feeding some fish”.

1st liveaboard: Well, it’s still better than work.
2nd liveaboard: Yes, but it’s Saturday, actually.

Where: Open sea, Cyclades, Greece
Who: SergeAx

Current rating: : 5.5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man: I have simplified my view of the sailing world via stereotypes

Where: Brighton Marina, UK
Who: Anonymous

Current rating: : 3 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man #1: I always fly my curtesy flag. God sees everything and it’s the little things that count, you know
Man #2: And I bet it turns customs men into slushy puppies
Man #1: Hmmm, haven’t noticed that in particular, but I am more concerned about the bigger picture, you know, the grand scheme of things
Man #2: In that case you cannot underestimate the significance of anything. Clearly.

Where: Approaching Portugal
Who: Rob

Current rating: : 5.25 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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Man: Yes, but you sail in such a boring way, hence you will never win
Woman: Yah, whatever, your boat is not my Viagra, deal with it
Man: That was below the belt

Where: Vancouver, Canada
Who: Alpine Joe

Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)

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