Liveaboard: Hey, that’s not fair, I just don’t think that “Urban Tranquility” is my thing, that’s all.
Woman Companion, excitedly: But your boat has so much potential!
Where:Pier 39 marina, San Francisco, USA
Who: Pebble
Current rating: : 5.4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote)
Loading ... Skipper: Bloody hell, what’s in the bags?
Unfortunate crew: Clothes, wellies, spare underwear
Skipper: And the other two?
Unfortunate crew: A few spares, sleeping bag, blanket, pillow
Skipper: You do realise, we are only going for a weekend and that your bags are the size of my boat? Including the mast.
Unfortunate crew, giggling nervously: Before you say it, No, they don’t float
Skipper: Anything we can drink in there? It’s bloody freezing, come aboard
Where: Cobb’s Quay Marina, UK
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Skipper: Kanal Neuf? Which one is neuf?
Wife: Neuf… Neuf… Neuf is black, isn’t it?
Skipper: No, that’s shwartz, or something, either way, it’s in German, this is French.
Wife: That boat next to us is French, ask them?
Skipper: You think this will be more successful than talking to this bloke?
Wife: Yah, his wife is english.
Skipper: He’s been there for exactly (checks his watch) 11 minutes, how do you know this?
Wife: They had bacon on the go when they moored up. They have no bacon in France. Easy.
Where: St. Malo, France
Who: Arno
Current rating: : 3.25 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... American Crew #1: What’s a kicker?
American Crew #2: Fuck knows
American Crew #1: I thought you were supposed to know about these things
American Crew #2: I do, the crew calls them fucked up names though
American Crew #1: But they practically invented sailing, the brits.
American Crew #2: Yah, whatever, it’s the America’s Cup and if I want to call it Cunnigham, I am calling it Cunningham.
Where: One of the boats in the America’s Cup
Who: Crew #3
Current rating: : 5 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Skipper: Noo! Chris, I told you! Not the heads, it’s brand new!
Chris: Sorry, I had to go, it’s a toilet!
Skipper: You don’t understand.
Where: Fuengirola marina, Spain
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Liveaboard: Damn this WI-FI, being a liveaboard used so be so bloody simple
Where: Chichester Marina, Chichester, UK
Who: SailorGirl
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Liveaboard #1: I fixed the table.
Liveaboard #2: I would have sorted the bunks out, if I were you.
Liveaboard #1: Well, it’s obvious, you like girls, I like food.
Where: Lowestoft, UK
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Lady Captain: Ahem, I don’t think so
Outboard Repairs Youth: Well, you asked for it
Lady Captain: No I God Damn well didn’t. I want the sheer pin changed, so why you getting the drill out?
Outboard Repairs Youth: You “Sail Volk”?
Lady Captain: WTF? Thank god I am here, this is “Jocassa”. “Volk”’s over there. Damn!
Where: Sausalito, California, USA
Who: The Volk
Current rating: : 5.6 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...Liveaboard, muttering to himself: Winter is coming, winter is coming, damn Santa, damn Santa, winter is coming, winter is coming…
Where: Southampton Marina, UK
Who: Blubber
Current rating: : 4 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ... Woman on pontoon: I said no, we are eating out tonight
Man: What’s the point of coming down to the boat and then going out to eat
Woman on pontoon: I don’t think I even need to answer that
Man: Yah, solid logic honey
Where: Northern Ireland, UK
Who: Anonymous
Current rating: : 4.25 out of 6 (Click on the stars to vote) Loading ...