Car, dinghy, what’s the difference?
Nice early morning in Chichester
Man in the carpark: Could have sworn we sailed out of Chichester, how the hell can my car be in Haslar???
Who: Me
Where: Chichester marina car park
Nice early morning in Chichester
Man in the carpark: Could have sworn we sailed out of Chichester, how the hell can my car be in Haslar???
Who: Me
Where: Chichester marina car park
Double-handing a 6m Waarschip monohull on the southern side of the Isle of Wight, with me in the cabin, a downdraught off the cliffs laid us flat for about 30 seconds with the mast touching the water.
After our trusty little boat righted herself, now approx. 600 kgs heavier due to water in-take through the cockpit sides, my crew and helmsman at the time just said:
“Whooo, that was interesting, can we do it again?”
Where: On board
Who: multihullsailor6
Commodore at the prizegiving after a 75 miles regatta:
“And the prize for the Best Navigator goes to Charles Thompson of “Sundowner” – pause accented by polite clapping – “who attempted to cross the finishing line at 2300hrs about 1 mile south of where the race information indicated it to be!” – Thunderous clapping and cheering!
Who: multihullsailor6
Where: Prizegiving at Mykonos Yacht Club, Langebaan, South Africa
Moscow yacht manager calls the crew at 21:00 (first time on the boat):
Manager: how are you there?
Crew: – fantastic! Sailing, swimming nonstop and so on!
Manager:- are you in marina?
Crew:- no, we are at anchor! Our skipper wanted to go to marina, but we preferred to be at anchor!
Manager:- can i talk to the skip?
Crew:- no, he said he expected bora of 40knots, took a dinghy and left the boat to see some friends…
Who: Parus
Where: Moscow Kornati islands(croatia)
Man #1: I hear you joined a sailing club?
Man #2: Yeah, you should join up too
Man #1: Why? I don’t like sailing
Man #2: Me neither, I get sea sick, I joined for the social aspects, it means I don’t have to socialise with my wife at the weekend and it’s more fun than golf.
Who: Bonza
Where: Perth Y.C., Australia
On delivery to Ireland for Cork week (F5/6 gusting 8 ):
Skipper: What course are you doing Peter?
Owner: 020 degrees
Skipper: The course is 320 Peter!
Owner: I know, but this is more comfortable.
Skipper: @&*£:$
Who: Russ
Where: Ireland
Man #1: Is this varnish supposed to come out that colour?
Man #2: Yah, similar thing happened to a girlfriend of mine once. She was not impressed either.
Who: MizzenShortOfAKetch
Where: Brighton marina boatyard, UK
Husband: Good morning, darling!!
Wife: Don’t bellow, you fool, I haven’t slept all night with all this din
Where: Aft cabin, Marina Porto Cervo, Italy
Who: Unfortunate crew
Bystander: What is the little arrow at the top of the mast?
Boat owner: That points to where I’m going.
Who: Roger
Where: Joli / Sailing Anarchy Forum
Man 1: So, the way this works is that you have the mast stepped on the compression post, and the compression post runs all the way to the keel. The post is just behind this board here…
Prolonged screeching noise is heard as the boat runs aground
Man 1: And that was the keel
Man 2: Glad we chartered
Where: Split, Croatia
Who: Skip