January 19th, 2008 by Captain
Man #1: Is this varnish supposed to come out that colour?
Man #2: Yah, similar thing happened to a girlfriend of mine once. She was not impressed either.
Who: MizzenShortOfAKetch
Where: Brighton marina boatyard, UK

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December 19th, 2007 by Captain
Husband: Good morning, darling!!
Wife: Don’t bellow, you fool, I haven’t slept all night with all this din
Where: Aft cabin, Marina Porto Cervo, Italy
Who: Unfortunate crew

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November 21st, 2007 by Captain
Bystander: What is the little arrow at the top of the mast?
Boat owner: That points to where I’m going.
Who: Roger
Where: Joli / Sailing Anarchy Forum

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November 4th, 2007 by Captain
Man 1: So, the way this works is that you have the mast stepped on the compression post, and the compression post runs all the way to the keel. The post is just behind this board here…
Prolonged screeching noise is heard as the boat runs aground
Man 1: And that was the keel
Man 2: Glad we chartered
Where: Split, Croatia
Who: Skip

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September 22nd, 2007 by Captain
Next to a complete wreck of a brand new boat:
Charter Manager, rather miserably: Well, apart from this, did you enjoy your weekend?
Skipper, rather neurotically: It was not my fault!
Where: Cowes
Who: Racing gets you in the end

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September 22nd, 2007 by Captain
Man #1: So, was everyone OK after the collision?
Man #2: Yah, all good. Apart from the girl who was on the loo at the time. She was not impressed.
Where: Solent
Who: Regatta

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September 3rd, 2007 by Captain
Thursday, 24 May 2007, approx. 1915hrs.
VHF Channel 16: “This is Cape Town, Port Elizabeth and Durban Radio. There will be no Weather Forecast at 7.15 this evening due to staff unavailability”.
Stunned silence from the airwaves for a moment, followed by a call from some vessel to ask what that was all about.
VHF Channel 16: ” I am the only person on duty and I don’t have time to read a Weather Forecast with all my other work”.
Click. Silence for the rest of the night. That’s Africa for you!
Who: Multihullsailor
Where: VHF / Sailing for Southern Africa mag

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August 31st, 2007 by Captain
Novice Sailor: Do you know a good cure for sea sickness?
Seasoned Sailor: Stand under a tree.
Where: Mayo SC
Who: Magic

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August 31st, 2007 by Captain
Two yachtsmen alone in the middle of the ocean:
Man #1: What would you prefer now - wine or a woman?
Man #2: It depends on the year of production.
Where: Marina
Who: Rossy

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August 31st, 2007 by Captain
Early morning, it’s raining, good English summer rain.
An old yachtie walking to the showers, mumbing aloud: “I don’t mind getting wet at sea, but detest it on land!”
Where: East Coast marina, UK
Who: Multihullsailor

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